First impressions set a tone. They can both help and hinder, allowing access to what lies beyond. Yet at the same time they point to what is not know or what is probably assumed. I see this as a negotiation.
The complexity is subblime, especially when being placed into a situation where authority is presumed. The initial effort is one of assessment, defining both mental and physical positions. These decisions then become centered on does one allow the authority to rule or find ways to subvert it. In many ways this can take the form of a frame of mind, a choice, which later leads to the building of subsequent structures. “I think there for I am” kinds of considerations. Though if you do not think and in many ways strategize, “I am” becomes a hollow form.
This is what came to mind in the first days of beginning my PhD work at the CUNY Grad Center. Please, don’t take it as an incrimination of the system or a flaw in my perception of myself. I see is as the beginning of a long conversation, which is going to take many paths, corners, back tracks, frustrations, and maybe even moments of stoppage.
Having thrown myself into the deep end of social science, it is up to me to initiate and define when to bow to the cannon or when to assert and individualistic agenda.